Megabling Monday
I made up the word Megabling, but I think it's totally rad.
Does anyone else here think rap music is actually pretty fun, except for all the times it sucks? Wait, no... allow me to clarify. I'm responsible for two accounts at work that look up articles about Russell Simmons, so I've had to read way too many articles in the past year about the crap going into and coming out of the rap industry. Hip Hop artist feuds, Don Imus, Russell Simmons rap "summit," - barf. Obviously the style's root's are deeply intertwined with rebellion and black culture, but somewhere along the way, mainstream rap became a symbol of a very specific set of things. I think there must be an actual physical check-list of requirements for mainstream rap songs. I'm sure you can think of most of the elements - it's a fun group activity if you want to get your friends involved.
So I don't dislike rap, it's just that 90% of it is about junk I don't really care about. Making an entire song style only about a certain type of (fabricated) lifestyle is like if someone decided that that all science fiction had to be about robots turning on humans, or that all piano pieces had to be in the classical style. There are so many other things! Arbitrary and invisible borders are totally whack.
So screw all that. Here are some hardcore rap antitheses tracks. Enjoy, yo.

* Drugs and guns are bad
* Stay in School
* Eat your vegetables
* Friends are the best thing ever.
The songs really aren't that great, or particularly compelling or relevant to anyone who is out of grade school, but it's fairly fun and notable for the fact that the topics discussed make this pretty much the most direct rap antithesis ever.

One Piece - 4kid Opening - One Piece Rap -- The great thing about this song is how hard it's trying to simulate mainstream rap. It could not have failed more. If 4kids hadn't actually been trying to pass this off as the legit opening of the show it would have been hilarious. Set sail for One Piece. And in case you missed it, One Piece is the name of the treasure in the Grand Line. Just so we're clear. Ya yo.
Veggie Tales - Stuffmart Rap -- A very heavily Christian media group using rap as it was meant to be used - to say a lot of stuff really fast.
Bonus Round - Rap Battle Breakdown - The freestyle rap battle is a fascinating part of rap culture, but after watching enough battles degenerate into "your mom" lyrics and comments on the opponent's sexual preference, they're relatively difficult to watch in a non comedic sense. Taking a cue from the epic potential the rap battle has, I present the following.
Parappa the Rapper 2 - Noodles Can't Be Beat -- Giving Parappa a second chance to wow us. I haven't yet played the second Parappa game, but this is probably my favorite song on the soundtrack. It's a full on rap battle about whether noodles are the greatest food ever or not. Parappa... wins? By default I guess. The beats and lyrics here are surprisingly tight.

4 comments:
Umm...I'm very disappointed that the Pokemon rap is nowhere on your blog.
How could you forget the Pokemon rap? It was beyond glorious.
I didn't forget it. But there was already so much that I had to cut a lot of things out. It was the last thing cut, so if there had been any more songs on there it would have been up.
Also, I figure that what with knowing the whole thing and having performed it in public, most people who know me already know it. But maybe I'll do an addendum post with the Pokerap(s) just for you.
I need to re-learn the Pokerap. It's a great ice breaker at parties.
Hello. And Bye.
Post a Comment